mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
