You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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