awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
