Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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