She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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