Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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