I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
