so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
