And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
