You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
