pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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