So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
