He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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