lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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