Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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