You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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