If that was your dad, he is hot
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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