What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
