and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
