I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
