And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
