Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
