when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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