Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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