There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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