rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
