420 ftw
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
