like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
