I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
