**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
