Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
