we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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