ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
