No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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