Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
