also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We were destined to go to rehab together
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
