you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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