he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
