Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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