Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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