The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize