that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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