You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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