ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So much rum. So many feels.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
