there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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