I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
