i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize