But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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