It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
