we need to drink 2009 down the drain
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
