it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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