his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
