it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
