tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
