I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
