Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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