All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
