I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize