New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
