we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
