First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
either way he was missing a nipple.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All the doctor said was why
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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