It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
