come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
