the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
